Run away from all black cats and kick over every ladder you see...it’s Friday 13th
Some of us like to think we can rise above the obsession with superstition and lock our fear of bad luck far away, deep in the hidden corners of our mind.
But even the most cynical of people will tut or moan when the traffic lights change early, the guy in front of them gets the last sandwich or the guy after them hits the jackpot on the snide gambling machine in the Swan’s Neck. There’s a fine line between superstition and Sod’s Law.
People will either get lucky or struggle; it’s the maths of life. So, when Friday 13th comes around and everyone starts going on about it, you can bet your life every one of us will wonder just how in control of our destinies we really are.
We’ve all heard of people choosing to stay home on Friday 13th to ride out the fear, but we’re here to tell you that there’s plenty to worry about in your kitchen. Read on for a super dramatic take on the stupidest food superstitions.
1. Short Noodles = Short Life 🍜
In China, some people believe they’ll live a long life if they eat long noodles, so don’t even THINK about cutting yours short. Legend has it you’ll be cutting your life short too. Go out with a bang and drench it in Ghost Chilli.
We’re just thinking back to every time we’ve cut noodles and survived but who are we to discredit a Chinese legend.
Don’t regretti your spaghetti.
2. Milk Before Sugar = Goodbye Wedding 🥛
Who puts milk in their tea before sugar? Oh, you do, do you?
Bad luck, because there won’t be wedding bells ringing for you any time soon, you horrible, ugly waste of space. Put the spoon down and get out of my kitchen. You’re dumped.
3. Orange = Love 🍊
If you’re one of those UGLY IDIOTS putting your milk in the tea before sugar, fear not. Giving someone an orange will apparently make them fall in love with you.
We got the ugliest guy in our business, Matthew, to hand out 100 oranges to the general public this week and he’s had no luck so far. Updates to follow on that one. Maybe they only wanted Vitamin C, not Vitamin D. Hehe.
4. Onions = No Bad Spirits 👻
Got evil spirits in your house? Just grab a small onion, stick some pins in it and put it on the windowsill to keep them away. The smell will keep pretty much anything living away too, sure, so you might as well cancel your wedding again and start putting milk in your tea first like the good old days.
Incidentally, our BBQ Mop sauce does actually bring out the best in onions, so maybe cover it in Meat Lust for added zing.
5. Throwing Rice = Newlywed Bliss 👰🏽
You’ve probably heard this one before but tossing rice at newlyweds is meant to bring them happiness, wealth and good health. Doesn’t work with Rice Krispies, as my sister-in-law will tell you. Only you; she won’t speak to me anymore.
To us that’s just a waste of perfectly good rice. The very same rice could be used to make a stunning creation like this sushi burger…
6. Holey Bread = Death 🍞
In our eyes bread can do no wrong, all of that carby goodness is one of life’s simplest pleasures, but there’s a ludicrously dramatic superstition to ruin it all.
If you cut open a loaf of bread and see a hole, it represents a coffin and means somebody will die soon. Hmm. Starting to really question the sanity of some of our fellow humans…
There you have it…plenty of info to feed the paranoia.
Even if you’re just a little bit superstitious.
I think that’s a good way to describe you lot.
Share this post
Ghost Chilli Sauce,
← Older Post
Newer Post →